I've featured her in a post before. Hell, the whole reason I initially decided to go to BBW FanFest was an opportunity to meet her in person.
Who better, then, to kick off this series with than Ms. Kelly Shibari.
She is whip-smart (pun kind of intended), smoking hot and is quite insightful from the conversations I've had with her in person and online. As I was pulling the idea of this series of interviews together, she was the first person I thought of having answer my questions, and she was more than willing to oblige.
Kelly Shibari
Los Angeles, CA
Websites: http://kellyshibarixxx.com, http://PaddedKINK.com
Follow her on Twitter: @kellyshibari
How did you get into the business? What led you into doing this, and what was your entry point (print modeling, straight into video, web modeling)?
I got into porn a little differently than most. I had been working in mainstream film / tv as an Art Director / Production Designer for about 10 years when the big writers' strike hit the industry hard in 2007. Just about everything in Hollywood came to a standstill, and many people were out of work. Lots of people I knew ended up moving out of LA and back to their hometowns. At the same time, I had a pretty intense breakup with a guy that I had been living with for a few years. A friend of mine, who also worked in mainstream as a weapons specialist, suggested I get into porn. He and his girlfriend worked in adult as performers, and he thought I would do well.
My response was that there were no large women in porn, mainly because the porn I watched was mainstream porn - where the girls are slender and the men muscular. My friend showed me a few sites to show that there were indeed larger girls in porn. One of them was The Score Group, a large company that shoots busty girls as well as BBWs (Big Beautiful Women).
I told my friend that I would send in my photos, and if they accepted, I would do it. I really was initially intending for my time in porn as a short-term sabbatical as I waited for the mainstream film / tv industry to recover. It's now been six years ;)
Was it a difficult decision, deciding the enter the industry? Do you have any regrets about choosing this path?
Not at all. I had the luxury not "having" to get into the industry, and it was something I chose to do (rather than forced to do). I have no regrets at all.
If you could change one thing about the industry (either overall, or specifically with regards to the BBW side of things), what would it be?
It's something that unfortunately would be rather difficult to do, but I wish there was a more-established place where performers, whether new or established, could get information without bias - health, legal, financial, and more.
Right now we're a group that thrives on gossip and ego, and a lot of performers are misinformed, and left to learn on their own. The sad part is that so many of those lessons are exactly the same as every other performer...but there's no mentorship, no support system to prevent those repeated mistakes.
I love the idea of a central clearinghouse to provide performers with information that would be quite valuable to their livelihoods and their future. Why do you think such a thing has never come about before? Also, if you could create such a thing, would it be a brick-and-mortar place or a virtual clearinghouse that would be accessible 24hrs a day?
I doubt it will happen - mainly because we're a transient industry with a lot of turnover, and unfortunately most are more concerned about their own status than the wellbeing of others. It's terribly sad that this is a rather selfish industry where the competition is so fierce, that there really has left no space for collaboration amongst most performers. There's little mentorship in an industry where every performer feels threatened by other performers.
It's also an industry that doesn't thrive on group activities - whether due to the agoraphobic nature of most performers other than promotional appearances. or competition, I'm not sure. There are plenty of blogs out there that share information, but not really anything in the way of one-on-one mentorship, outside of talent agencies (and not all of them mentor), and I sadly don't see that changing anytime soon.
I love the idea of a central clearinghouse to provide performers with information that would be quite valuable to their livelihoods and their future. Why do you think such a thing has never come about before? Also, if you could create such a thing, would it be a brick-and-mortar place or a virtual clearinghouse that would be accessible 24hrs a day?
I doubt it will happen - mainly because we're a transient industry with a lot of turnover, and unfortunately most are more concerned about their own status than the wellbeing of others. It's terribly sad that this is a rather selfish industry where the competition is so fierce, that there really has left no space for collaboration amongst most performers. There's little mentorship in an industry where every performer feels threatened by other performers.
It's also an industry that doesn't thrive on group activities - whether due to the agoraphobic nature of most performers other than promotional appearances. or competition, I'm not sure. There are plenty of blogs out there that share information, but not really anything in the way of one-on-one mentorship, outside of talent agencies (and not all of them mentor), and I sadly don't see that changing anytime soon.
Thanks for answering that question. It is a shame that things are the way that they are vis-a-vis the "agoraphobia" that you mention. Although I don't get quite the sense of that up here in Vegas...but I'm also not that social myself, save for a random Porn Star Karaoke appearance. And I see that as a place where fans are invited to come and hang out and mingle with performers.
Speaking of fans, what is your definition of a fan? What obligations do fans have in supporting performers/the industry overall?
Speaking of fans, what is your definition of a fan? What obligations do fans have in supporting performers/the industry overall?
A fan is someone who appreciates the work of a performer, director, or anyone who creates entertainment for that fan. I think a fan's "obligation," if you could call it that, would be to actively support those people buy actually purchasing the content that is created.
I know that not everyone has the means to purchase content - but a true fan would, because not supporting an entertainer would create an environment where the entertainer couldn't support themselves with that line of work.
What's sad is when I read a "fan"'s post on social media wondering where a previously popular performer had gone, because I know that they were driven out of the industry because of the lack of work / lack of income. Not purchasing content is what causes companies to not be able to afford performers...and for some reason fans don't understand that they are directly responsible.
If you could offer some words of advice to those trying to break into the industry, what would they be?
In the current climate, the only thing I could suggest is that models treat this as a short-term hobby rather than a career. There is simply not enough work to support a career. Having an alternate income that doesn't depend on how many scenes you do per month guarantees a few things: that you won't be forced into a position where you might do scenes you wouldn't otherwise do because you need the work, and it creates enough of a diversion that, when you *do* get work, it's fun and exciting. That sort of stuff shows on camera.
Interpret this question how you want, but what excites you? What makes you feel good inside?
Knowing that people - men and women, couples and singles - enjoy my work, and that my work makes them more comfortable in their own skin by showing them that you don't have to be a size 0 to be happy. (Psst, secret: Many size 0's aren't happy either). Showing that sex can be fun and sometimes dorky makes me happy.
What are your hobbies outside of work? How do you like to unwind?
Many of my female friends are into "retail therapy" - they love shopping. I'm not much of a shopper, but I'm a "pamper junkie". I love spa treatments, massages, facial treatments, manicures, pedicures...I guess after entertaining people, I like it when people wait on me for a change .
Where do you see yourself in 3-5 years? Still performing? Serving as a producer/director? Being an agent? Advocacy? Or outside of the industry?
I'm not sure. I'm at an interesting place in my 'career' - where I can go in a couple of different directions. For the time being I'm still producing/directing PaddedKINK, and running the marketing company, which is currently nominated for Marketing Campaign of the Year for my self-produced DVD, Kelly Shibari is Overloaded (which is nominated by both AVN and XBIZ for Specialty Release of the Year). Some of my friends know that I had a 5-year plan when I got in...and I've met most of my goals. I've had some really great "ups" and some pretty crazy "lows" during my time here, and I've learned from all of those experiences (See my answer to (C)). I'm not interested in ever being an agent.
Advocacy is something that's organic for me, so I don't really see me getting involved with a group (unless I get a really good offer, haha). I do love marketing, whether it's my own projects/products or someone else's. I've been asked to consider making more DVDs. So...I'm not sure. But whatever direction I go in, I'm sure it'll be interesting...I guess it's time to think about my second 5-year plan.
How would you like to be remembered?
I'd like to be remembered not necessarily as a performer, but as someone who tried as many things as she could. My life has not always been about porn, and it may not be a few years from now. I've always been a "bucket list" kind of girl, an intelligent hedonist, who tries a lot of things before I'm too old to do them. Some decisions were mistakes, but learning and choosing to remember not to do that again is part of being an intelligent hedonist.
As far as my current work is concerned, though, I'd like to be remembered for reminding people that sex is fun, variety is amazing and that curiosity is what's sexy, as long as you're also grounded.
As far as my current work is concerned, though, I'd like to be remembered for reminding people that sex is fun, variety is amazing and that curiosity is what's sexy, as long as you're also grounded.
